Really? You Have Chocolate in There?
by Anisky
Summary: Tom's diary appears in Ginny's trunk yet again. Finally he's back! Ginny missed him a "really lot", and is eager to prove to everybody how smart and brave she is by finally freeing poor Tom from that awful diary...


Title: Really? You have Chocolate in there??  
  
Author: Anisky  
  
Summary: Tom's diary appears in Ginny's trunk yet again. Finally he's back! Ginny missed him a "really lot", and is eager to prove to everybody how smart and brave she is by finally freeing poor Tom from that awful diary...   
  
A/N: Thank you to my Beta-Reader and very lovable girlfriend, Merry. She's God in these stories, by the way. Yeah.   
  
Warning: Ginny is not portrayed per usual in this fic. Please do not be offended, I assure you, I adore Ginny just as much as you do. :) It just... came out!  
  
Merry: I'm God in general, dammit. 

  
  
  


Ginny looked down at the book in her hands. It was just as she remembered it, a small, unassuming brown book. 

This perplexed her considering that it shouldn't have looked exactly as she remembered it from 4 years ago, it should have a huge hole through it. Come to think of it, it shouldn't have been in her trunk, either. 

Which of course begged the question what it was doing, in her trunk with no visible scars that could be seen. 

Ginny looked at the diary with suspicion, shrugged, and tucked it back into her trunk. There was nothing she could figure out now about the diary that she couldn't do when all of her possessions were scattered across the room. Ginny liked messy dorm rooms, they made them feel more homey somehow. 

So Ginny tacked posters on her walls at odd angles, threw various cheap itis onto the floor, and settled back into her bed with a chocolate frog and popcorn to see whether or not the diary was still possessed with the vengeful spirit of a sixteen year old evil wizard. 

Always fun.

She dipped her quill into the inkwell, placed the tip on the parchment. She paused for a moment, wondering what to write. If Tom was there, Ginny wanted her first words to him to be inspired. Brilliant. Witty. She wanted him to step back and say, 'Whoa, man. Ginny, dude, she's changed. Man.' It may be hard to believe that she honestly wanted an evil teenage wizard who grew up in the 1940s to speak like some stoned college guy from the 70s who has various plants rolled up in paper, but it's what she wanted. 

She finally knew what to write. She wrote with the ease that only someone who has used quills their entire life can achieve. (Trust me. I've spent days trying to write a simple word with a quill and ink. You should be in awe of the tremendous skills of the Hogwarts students.) 

**_Hello. _**

Yep, it was inspired. She was playing it cool, and being mysterious. Perfect. Ginny was a genius!

She leaned back, waiting to see if Tom was still in there. Surely enough, the ink sunk into the page and soon new words were forming.

**_Hello there. May I inquire as to who this is?_**

Ginny giggled. **_It's me, silly,_** she wrote, getting comfortable on her bed as she awaited his response. 

Now, right now you may be sitting there wondering, _wait a second. This guy tried to kill her when she was 11 years old. This is not quite the response that I imagined when she realizes that Tom is talking to her. Maybe something more along the lines of, running to Dumbledore and telling him the situation, then collapsing in her bed in a fit of hysteria at the mere thought of being in contact with him again?_

First off, dear reader, I applaud your large vocabulary. You seem to express yourself with an unusual amount of long words. Secondly, I have to tell you that while people who have nothing better to do than sit around reading and writing stories about fictional characters seem to, by some strange twist of logic, be very intelligent and logical people- a rather ironic law of nature, but as God Herself is a fanfiction writer, she tends to be rather bias towards others of her kind. (How do I know this you ask? It's rather simple, I date Her. As a matter of fact this author spent the past two nights at her house.)

But, I digress. My point was that while you may be a person who, when confronted with a person who has tried to kill you at a young, impressionable age, your instincts, quite rightly and intelligently, scream "Run as fast as you can awaaaaaaaaaaaay!", Ginny is not, how do you say, the sharpest crayon in the box. It's not so much that she is in a hurry to have her soul sucked out and used to bring the memory of an extremely snake-man back to life, it's just that she didn't quite make the connection that Tom is in the Diary and the Diary killed her so Tom might be in on it somehow. He was really nice to her, so how could he possibly be out to hurt her? It didn't add up, and so, like most of the rest of life, Ginny ignored it. 

Meanwhile, Ginny was giggling as a chocolate frog jumped around in her mouth and smiled widely as she saw her True Love's next words appear on the paper. 

**_Well, hello there Ginny dear. It's very nice to see you again. _**

Ginny squealed, some of the chocolate flying out of her mouth as she hurried to respond. 

**_You remember me?? _**She hurriedly scribbled onto the page.

**_Of course Ginny darling, how could I forget such a sweet girl? _**Tom replied. 

At that, Ginny jumped out of her bed and bounced around the room hysterically, squealing, "He says I'm a sweet girl! He says I'm a sweet girl!"

It's a good thing that none of the other Fifth Year girls were in the dormitory. If they saw Ginny jumped around the room squealing while chocolate sprayed out of her mouth-

-actually, they would not be surprised in the least. This is Ginny after all. Nobody expects her to act logical. 

Eventually, Ginny returned to the diary lying on her bed, to see other words on the page now. 

**_So, why do you have the diary again? How did you get it?_**

**_Ginny dear? Are you there?_**

**_Ginny are you quite alright?_**

**_...Ginny, it's been ten minutes. What are you doing? Do you need assistance with anything?_**

Ginny read over the page, pausing in confusion when she came along "assistance." She leaned back, wondering what it meant. She knew that when she was young and had trouble remembering what words meant- well she had trouble remembering other things as well, in fact Ginny got over her crush on Harry in her third year solely because she forgot that she was supposed to- but her mother told her to try and find the meaning from how it was used in the sentence. 

She scratched her head, reading what he wrote. He was worried because she wasn't there. But Tom knew everything, didn't he? So he must have known that Ginny was dancing around the room. Really, then, he would have seen that now she was tired and was also out of chocolate, as most of it was sprayed around the room, and she was too exhausted to get any more. 

**_Really? You really have chocolate in there? _**She wrote into the diary, her eyes wide in surprise. **_But it's a diary! Where do you keep it?_**

Now, if Tom were not a diary, he would have blinked and looked at Ginny quite oddly, as most do when they are victims of her attempts to decode a word over two syllables in length. As all he currently existed as was a book, he did neither of these things. Ginny was pleasantly surprised; he was not looking at her strangely!! Finally, she met someone who understood her! 

It really did not occur to Ginny that Tom had neither eyes nor a face at his current incarnation. She simply knew that he did not look confused, and that of course meant that he understood her completely.

She waited for him to say anything else, wondering why he didn't respond to her. Finally, to her relief, the words appeared on the paper once more. 

**_No, I'm sorry Ginny, I don't. Sorry to disappoint you. _**

**_Oh, _**Ginny wrote back. **_It's OK Tom. Why are you here?_**

**_I don't know, _**Tom told her. **_I was hoping you could explain it to me?_**

Now, 'explain' looks like a difficult word, but Ginny was quite proud that since people said it to her so much, she knew the meaning. Yay Ginny! See, when she did one of her brilliant decodings, people always assumed the look on their faces, preceded by blinks. Of course, they were telling her that they were amazed at how easily she could figure out what new and difficult- no, just make that difficult- meant. 

**_Oh, thank you! _**Ginny wrote into the diary, preening as she wrote it, which resulted in several streaks of her bright pink ink that she so favoured flying across the page. 

At this point, Tom abandoned all attempt to understand Ginny. Obviously she had not progressed much since her first year. **_You're welcome, _**he wrote back. **_How have you been?_**

**_I missed you a lot, _**Ginny told him. **_A really lot. Why did they take you away from me? _**

**_They're mean, awful people, Ginny. They wanted to make you upset. _**

Ginny gasped and dipped the quill into the inkwell again, writing furiously in the journal. **_I knew it! _**

Of course she hadn't even thought of that possibility. As I've explained earlier, Ginny has difficulty with the process of, well, thinking in general and the process of cause-and-effect in specific. In fact, it is debatable as to whether or not Ginny even knows that actions are the result of previous actions. Consequences are not something that Ginny is familiar with, despite the fact that she faced rather, well, fatal ones early in life. But she wanted to seem really intelligent to Tom, like someone who he could respect for her brains. For some reason, everybody else seemed to dismiss her as stupid. It was_ so_ unfair, and _not_ true of course. Maybe finally she could find in Tom someone who saw her for the genius she truly was.

Yeah. Right, Ginny. I'd tell you to keep living in your delusions, but I have Serious doubts about whether anything could drag you _out _of them. Obviously near-death didn't even come close to doing the trick. 

One moment, I have a memo. (Checks) God is telling me that even she agrees with that one.

Anyway, let's get back to the story, shall we? 

Ginny was continuing with her charade that she believed that her family, friends, and generally everybody else in the world were out to get her. This, of course, would serve to show Tom how incredibly intelligent and logical she was. 

**_I mean, it was so obvious. Why should I not trust you, just because I can't see your brain? I mean, helloooo. I can't see ANYBODY's brain, that's the POINT, if they weren't protected by your ribs then they could splatter all over the place and then you wouldn't be able to, you know, digest food. Yeah. That's when the food transfigures itself from... whatever it is into... sugar! I like sugar, I wish it did that in your mouth. And... yeah! It's all very interesting, but anyway, it was sooooooooo obvious they were just trying to make me sad. _**

Here Ginny stopped for the obligatory self-pitying sniffle, while waiting to see if Tom would respond, hopefully with a praise of her rather vast, _Um, what's that word? _Ginny wondered. _That means really smart? Oh ... I can't remember it... what is it... OH YEAH!!!!!!!!! I remember now!!!! Smartness!_

Now, we have established by now that Tom does not have a face, eyes, or brain- which of course begs the question how does he transfigure all of that food into sugar, and can he manage to do it while it's in his mouth?-- but Ginny knew that Tom could do aaaaanything so really it didn't beg any question at all because he was Tom! 

But it was a rather good thing for Tom that he did not currently have a face that Ginny could see, because if he did then she would be left wondering why he had a look of absolute horror on his face, hitting his head against the desk and groaning. 

Actually, if you consider, it didn't really matter, as Ginny would probably draw some wild conclusion or, more likely still, fail to notice anything strange at all, and she definitely wouldn't have been able to figure out that it had anything to do with her. 

After the period in which a Tom who did not technically exist banged his head against a table that did not technically exist and thus got a headache that was not technically real, he got around to answering with a **_That's a bloody brilliant conclusion, Ginny, I'm really impressed. _**

(God is currently telling me that she loves the evilness of Tom.) 

Ginny smiled at his words and leaned back. Finally, somebody who said all the right things! **_You know, I've been looking for someone like you my entire life, Tom, _**she told him. **_Could you come out of the diary now, please? All those books I read say now that you should now grab me and ravish me. _**Ginny paused for a moment before continuing. **_Tom, what's 'ravish'? I mean I thought that it was that red vegetable thing, but I figured out that since the women were still women after being ravished, it couldn't be that! _**

**_I'll... explain it to you later, Ginny darling, _**he wrote into the book. 

Ginny blinked. **_Um... why will you explain later, and what does that have to do with what 'ravish' is??_**

Tom, unlike Ginny, was a rather sharp crayon, in fact he was approaching pencil status, and let me tell you, those things can _hurt _you they're so sharp! Once when I was 4 I stabbed my sister with a pencil and she had the mark for _years_ later. Anyway, that's not the point. She deserved it. But, anyway, Tom, being the Pencil that he was, realized that perhaps Ginny did not quite define "explain" the way the rest of the world did, and thus, he adapted.

**_I'll tell you what 'ravish' means later, love. Now, _**he continued, **_it's interes- it's good that you talked about me coming out, because I need your help with that. _**

Ginny's eyes got wide and she once again got up to jump around the room several times, squealing, "He needs my help! He needs my help!"

Jennifer, Ginny's dorm mate, walked in, went over to get a quill, and walked back out again, not even bothering to blink at Ginny. Any 5th years with any sort of survival instinct had long ago learned to not try and understand Ginny. It usually involved one of those headaches much like the technically nonexistent one that Tom was now dealing with. 

Ginny similarly did not register Jennifer. I mean, yes, she came into the room, but that did not mean that she could see Ginny, after all, and just because Ginny was acting strange did not mean that Jennifer would... well, see her in the first place, so the rest doesn't matter. 

After a while, Ginny settled back in her bed, to the 

**_Ginny? Ginny, are you there? Ginny, please answer me. Are you OK?_**

Ginny giggled and dipped her quill into the inkwell again, swooshing it around a few times. **_Of course I'm OK, silly. Why wouldn't I be? So, why do you need my help?_**

**_Well, _**Tom started, **_there are several things I need you to do. You may not underst- you may not get why they help, but trust me, alright?_**

**_Of course I trust you, Tom! _**Ginny wrote. **_Why wouldn't I? You've always been so nice and sweet! _**

**_Thank you, Ginny-love, _**the words made Ginny smile and blush a colour similar to the frightening shade of her ink, something that you might find on one of Rita's robes or Lockhart's Valentine decorations.

Ahh, Lockhart and Rita. Two of Ginny's biggest idols. They were so brave, so smart, so noble... and now she could be just like them! She knew that when she helped Tom escape from that awful diary, everyone would be so impressed with her! They would finally appreciate her! 

**_So what should I do??? _**

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A/N: I wrote humor.  _I _wrote humor!  Wow.  If you look, I have… over a hundred stories/poems/etc on here, and… this if my very first humor.  Trying new things here! I think I'm reeeeaaally going to have fun with this fic, so please tell me what you thought!! Also as I AM in new turf good advice on how to write better humor is VERY appreciated.  Thanks!


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